On a further note:
New York Times Blog
Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting
August 29, 2011
parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/29/should-parents-ban-fraternities/ Should Parents Ban Fraternities?
By LISA BELKIN
Much of the conversation here over the past few days about gender roles on campus has included mentions of fraternities and sororities. It is not coincidence, many of you said, that all the incidents I described in my Sunday Styles article [see below], about why young women have moved past stereotypes in the classroom but not in relationships, involved Greek life.
As it happens, there has been a lot of talk of fraternities and sororities on campuses themselves over the past week or two, as well.
In mid-August, fraternities at the University of Southern California were reminded by the administration that last year’s ban on pre-rush parties, those taking place before recruitment officially starts, still stands. That ban was put in place in response to incidents like “a misogynistic e-mail sent on the Kappa Sigma fraternity Listserv and photos of a suspended Kappa Sigma appearing to have sex on a U.S.C. rooftop spread virally,” wrote Rachel Bracker, a student reporter, in The Daily Trojan newspaper. There was also the matter of eight students being “taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning.”
At Princeton last Tuesday, the school’s president, Shirley M. Tilghman, announced that, effective next year, freshmen will no longer be permitted to join a fraternity or sorority, nor will they be allowed to participate in “rush” activities during freshman year. Explaining the ban, university administrators said in an announcement on the university’s Web site that while the groups have just a small presence on campus (about 15 percent of Princeton undergraduates participate in four sororities and about a dozen fraternities), they have a negative effect:
We have found that they can contribute to a sense of social exclusivity and privilege and socioeconomic stratification among students. In some cases, they place an excessive emphasis on alcohol and engage in activities that encourage excessive and high-risk drinking. A major concern is that they select their members early in freshman year, when students are most vulnerable to pressures from peers to drink, and before they have had a full opportunity to explore a variety of interests and develop a diverse set of friendships. We hope students coming to Princeton will want to expand their circle of acquaintances and experiences, not prematurely narrow them.
That same day, Cornell’s president, David J. Skorton, used an Op-Ed piece in The New York Times to pledge to end fraternity hazing on campus. His announcement came a few months after a 19-year-old sophomore at the school died in a fraternity house “while participating in a hazing episode that included mock kidnapping, ritualized humiliation and coerced drinking.” This convinced him, he wrote:
… that it was time long past time to remedy practices of the fraternity system that continue to foster hazing, which has persisted at Cornell, as on college campuses across the country, in violation of state law and university policy.
Yesterday, I directed student leaders of Cornell’s Greek chapters to develop a system of member recruitment and initiation that does not involve “pledging” the performance of demeaning or dangerous acts as a condition of membership. While fraternity and sorority chapters will be invited to suggest alternatives for inducting new members, I will not approve proposals that directly or indirectly encourage hazing and other risky behavior. National fraternities and sororities should end pledging across all campuses; Cornell students can help lead the way.
He goes on to ask “Why not ban fraternities and sororities altogether, as some universities have done?” Good question. He goes on to answer that there is good in the system, in that it “can foster friendship, community service and leadership.”
Since this is a parenting column, I have a related question: What is a parent’s role here? Odds are, parents are paying at least some part of the membership fees for these fraternities and the tuition that enables participation in the first place. If a parent is philosophically opposed to these groups because they subdivide a campus and codify the rights of 20-somethings to pass judgment on each other, should that parent forbid a child to join? What if the concern is more personal and less global? As Dr. Skorton points out, “At Cornell, high-risk drinking and drug use are two to three times more prevalent among fraternity and sorority members than elsewhere in the student population.” I ask as a parent who holds both of these kinds of objections to fraternities, and yet whose son is also a member. Like Dr. Skorton, I reason that there is “good in the system,” particularly the friendships he has forged but some days I worry that that’s just rationalization, and not good enough.
Can parents just say no to Greek life? Would you?
Copyright 2011 The New York Times Company.
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New York Times
August 28, 2011
www.nytimes.com/2011/08/28/fashion/after-class-skimpy-equality-motherlode.html After Class, Skimpy Equality
By LISA BELKIN
AT Duke University last fall, members of the Sigma Nu fraternity e-mailed 300 of their female classmates about an off-campus Halloween party. “Hey Ladies,” the invitation leered, complete with a misspelling, “Whether your dressing up as a slutty nurse, a slutty doctor, a slutty schoolgirl or just a total slut, we invite you...”
Yes, there was outrage: in the form of fliers plastered around the Duke campus reprinting the offending e-mail and asking, “Is this why you came to Duke?” And there was official indignation: The recently formed Greek Women’s Initiative will be tackling the subject of gender relations.
But a less-noted fact remains: hundreds of Duke women went to that Halloween party and many dressed as they had been asked.
As parents around the country send their children to campuses for the start of another academic year, what are we to make of the fact that lessons of equality, respect and self-worth have been heard when it comes to the classroom, but lost somewhere on the way to the clubs? Why has the pendulum swung back to a feeling that sexualization of women is fun and funny rather than insulting and uncomfortable? Why are so many women O.K. with that? Odds are that the women dancing at that Duke party had mothers who attended more than one Take Back the Night march in their college days. What has changed?
I’ve been puzzling over this since last year, when I returned to Princeton University to teach, more than two decades after I had graduated. The women I met were outspoken, self-confident and unapologetic about running rings around their male cohorts in the classroom. That was a marked change from my day, when there were nearly two men to one woman on campus, and we felt a little like guests in the boys’ club treehouse.
I wasn’t surprised by the progress, though. The male-female ratio is essentially equal now, and the message of female achievement comes from the top: the university’s president is just one of many powerful women on campus.
What stunned me was what was happening outside class, where women seemed not to have budged in decades. In social settings and in relationships, men set the pace, made the rules and acted as they had in the days when women were still “less than.” It might as well have been the 1950s, but with skimpier clothing, fewer inhibitions and better birth control.
Initiations at my former Princeton eating club now include women dancing in their underwear and a sick room, complete with an on-call emergency medical technician for those who can’t handle the drinks that fuel that dancing.
And it is not just at Princeton and Duke where you can find gender relationships that would not be described as evolved. At the University of Southern California, a viral e-mail sent by a member of the Kappa Sigma fraternity described women as “targets” who “aren’t actual people like us men,” then set out the guidelines men should use in rating their conquests. (The fraternity itself expressed outrage, distancing itself from the member.)